These days about the only TV I get to watch is PBS kid shows. It's funny, I have become so accustomed to this, that when I do turn on the TV and surf the channels, I feel awkward choosing to watch anything but kid shows.
Gone are the days of learning what's actually going on in the world, seeing as how news stories never flash across my screen anymore. Sometimes, that's kind of nice. But tonight, Tom (who still knows what is going on in the world) told me about a Kansas City Chief Football player who was in the news recently because he got in an argument with his live-in girlfriend, and shot her 9 times. Afterwards he drove to the stadium, told his coaches "thank you for all they've done", then shot himself in the head right in front of them. Horrible, horrible story, I know.
It caused me to reflect further on a subject that seems to be popping into my head a lot lately. Healthy Self-Control. I believe it's one of the fruits of the Spirit in the Bible. Most of us probably do have healthy self-control under most circumstances most of the time. But do any of us really have healthy self-control all the time? Jeremiah, the poor sweet thing, is only 2 and a half, and already he has to start learning this very difficult lesson. The preschool and Sunday school, they all expect him to be able to control himself. But in truth, when he becomes so emotionally overcharged, he doesn't know what to do. He can't control himself. He needs help, someone to show him how it's done. But I'm a little bit baffled on the best way to do this. Developmentally, I think this is normal for his age, and yet, why does it seem that the other kids are more able to keep their hands to themselves...they seem to have more self-control. I can only assume, they are wired a bit differently. Jeremiah IS strong-willed, dominant in nature and has a strong need to control everything at all times. God created him this way, created him to be a leader. But you know, learning to channel our God-given gifts correctly can be so hard. I imagine this will be a lesson that he will be learning for a loooong time.
And of course, I can't help but reflect on my own ability to maintain self-control. Most of the time, I do just fine. But, when emotionally overcharged, I tend to loose it, and act out in inappropriate ways. Unlike Jeremiah, I don't hit, kick, or throw things. Unlike some others, I don't typically resort to obscenities or name-calling. But I do scream and yell. Sometimes I FEEL like hitting or throwing things. Of course, this is just one form of self-control I am referring to, there are other things like the amount of food I eat or tv I watch, or when I choose to finally go to bed at night. Most things require some form of self-control. But isn't it kind of funny that I am expecting Jeremiah to learn these lessons now when clearly, I am still trying to get a handle on them myself? There's nothing like being a parent and a wife to challenge who you are as a person, and to strongly encourage a change in behavior. In other words, get your act together, so you can help others get their act together. Or is it something like take the plank out of your own eye first, so you can get the speck of sawdust out of your husband's or son's eye?
No real wisdom here, just Lord, please help me, because I'm pretty sure that plank has been stuck in my eye for a long time, and it doesn't seem to want to come out!
